Happy Halloween Friends,
I hope you have an enjoyable day today! Here are some thoughts I had over coffee this morning about “FEAR”, the Bible’s “commands” to not be afraid, and how the Church often uses those commands in very manipulative ways.
It’s OK to be afraid.
✌🏻🎃👻
Glenn || PATREON / BUY ME A COFFEE
One time someone told me that the term "Fear Not" appears in the Bible 365 times. The person told me that this was super significant because there are 365 days in a year and so the Bible has a "fear not" statement for every day of the year. And then the person told me that "fear not" is not a suggestion, but a command and that real obedience to God is marked by fearlessness - a bold courage that moves forward, no matter what the cost may be.
"Perfect Love drives out fear", they said. "This is what the Bible says. And since perfect Love lives inside of you, fear has no place."
The person told me to "cast fear out", to "rebuke fear", to "take a stand against fear", to do whatever I needed to do to put fear in its place.
And I used to preach that message. I think I even blogged about the 365 thing one time and may have even mentioned it in a sermon.
But then when I got older and more suspect of everything, I went and counted the "fear not" statements myself and discovered that there are less than 150.
And that was really relieving to me, honestly, because I'm not sure I can even make it through 150 days without being afraid much less 365.
Right?
There are lots of things in this life to be afraid of ...
The massive brown recluse spider that was crawling on my daughter's swing set over the summer.
The copperhead snake that was crawling around my yard last year.
When we moved our family from from NJ to NC after living in NJ for 30+ years.
When I filled out the application to apply for a doctoral program.
When I started the What If Project podcast.
When my wife had surgery.
When I quit my job at Apple to work at Starbucks.
When I quit Starbucks 2 shifts in to do ... this.
When I put myself out there to pick up some social media gigs.
When I post something somewhat controversial on the blog, social media, etc.
When I talk to a podcast guest that makes me feel starstruck.
When I wonder about the future and all that it holds for Jordan.
When I think about family members who hate what I do.
... There are so many things in this life to be afraid of and, honestly, I think for the Church to make people feel like their fears are breaking one of God's commands and that their fears somehow make God feel disappointed. I don't know. I think that's very manipulative and I think it's terrible theology.
AND.
If that's what the Bible really means when it says, "do not be afraid" ... if it really means that we should bury our fears and move forward at all costs, then I think the Bible is wrong.
The reality is that fear is wired into us to keep us safe. Right? There are certain things in the world that we should be afraid of because the fear generates a reaction within us that can save our lives. If I'm in a burning building, for example, and things are exploding around me, the fear that I will feel inside generates an instinct to get out of that building as fast as I can - a reaction that will very likely save my life along with the lives of whoever else I may drag out of there with me.
Fear can also help us slow down.
Right?
If I'm about to make a major life decision that will have all sorts of repercussions, the feeling of fear can help me pump the brakes a bit to make sure I'm making the best decision for myself and for those around me.
Fear can buy me some time to ...
Ask for some advice.
Put together a plan.
Weigh the pros and cons.
Create a backup plan in case the plan doesn't work.
What I'm saying is that fear is a natural reaction and so for God or the Bible to command us not to be afraid and then for the Church and Christians to use that command to make people feel less spiritual or somehow inferior because of the genuine fears that they have ... that's toxic, it's manipulative, and it's stupid.
When the Angel appeared to Mary and told her "not to be afraid", what was he saying? Was he speaking with a commanding tone and telling Mary, "stop being afraid! Your fear is silly! Perfect love drives out fear! You have nothing to be afraid of! One day the Bible will say 'do not be afraid' 365 times! 365 times, Mary! That's one time for every day of the year! You have nothing to be afraid of!"
OR.
Was he saying, "I know you're afraid right now. I know that having a baby will send ripples all through your life in all sorts of ways. I know you're scared. I know everything inside of you is telling you to run. I know that this news will change your life and maybe even break a lot of important relationships in your life. But I'm here to tell you that in the midst of your fears, it's OK to move forward. It's OK to trust me. It's OK to take the next step. The sun will come up tomorrow. Life will go on. And you will be OK."
You see, fear isn't a bad thing. Fear is a natural instinct, and so fear is a good thing. Fear only becomes problematic when it overrides our mind, overrides our heart, overrides our soul, overrides our desires, overrides the still voice within, takes a seat at the head of the table, and becomes the decision maker in everything that we do.
Fear deserves a seat at the table, just not a seat at the head of the table because when fear is running the show we will very often listen to it every single time and, therefore, miss out on some of the best times of our lives.
My point is that it's OK to be afraid. There's no shame in that. The key, perhaps, is to be discerning when it comes to the fears that well up inside of us.
To feel the fear.
To stop.
To take a deep breathe.
To take a deeper breathe.
To look within our hearts.
To quiet ourselves.
To invite in the other voices within us.
To ask our hearts what they think.
To ask our souls.
To ask our desires.
To ask our minds.
To ask those who are closest to us.
... Sometimes our fears are valid and we need to listen to them and run the other way and sometimes our fears are just as valid, but (although they are just trying to protect us) they need to be faced, quieted, and brushed aside so that we can move forward and do things that will truly change our lives and our world.
Befriend your fears and listen to them, just don't let them run the show.
So good. ‘Befriend your fears…..”