Last Week We Told Jordan the Truth About Santa

there's magic inside of you

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There may be spelling / grammar mistakes in my articles that make it through my editing, and that’s on purpose. I’m a recovering perfectionist (who was once VERY hard on himself) and one of the ways I’m learning to be compassionate on myself is by allowing mistakes to just … be.

Friends.

Jordan is 9 and over the last few years she’s been asking more and more questions about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

Usually her questions revolve around the topics of “how”, you know?

Like …

How does Santa make it around the world in one night?

How do reindeer fly?

How does the Easter Bunny get in the house?

How big is the Tooth Fairy?

… things like that. And our answer? Usually we turn it back on her and say something like, “that’s a super good question - what do YOU think?” Then she’ll share what she thinks, we’ll expand on her ideas, and the conversation will eventualy turn to something else.

(*NOTE - we use that response with A LOT of her questions, especially her more spiritual questions as we believe that even at a young age the answers to our deepest questions about life can be found within - something I’ll come back to towards the end of this post.)

Recently, though, her questions about Santa have been getting a little bit too direct for us to turn the question back to her.

Do you know what I mean?

Like the other day, for instance, we were finishing up dinner and she said …

“Is Santa real? Because Jimmy in class says the parents put the presents under the tree. And what about the Tooth Fairy? He says parents put the money under the pillow. Do you?”

Phew.

She had tears in her eyes as if she already knew the answer and Dana and I looked at each other and knew it was time to tell her the truth because although we played along over the years and helped engage her imagination with the story of Santa, we never want to lie to her when she asks a direct question like that.

She sat on Dana’s lap and looked at me with her bottom lip quivering, and I said, “listen my dude. So, I am going to tell you the truth, OK? Are you ready?”

She nodded her head.

I took a deep breath.

“So, mommy and daddy DO put your presents under the tree. We buy them, wrap them, and put them under the tree when you go to sleep on Christmas Eve. I usually eat the cookies and drink the milk, mommy writes your letter from Santa. We also buy the stuff for your Easter basket and hide it. And we put money under your pillow when you lose a tooth and I keep your teeth in a little box along with all the notes you’ve written to Santa. So, yes. Jimmy is right - the parents do it.”

By this time she was crying pretty hard and rather than tell her not to cry or try to make the pain go away, we told her to take as long as she needed to feel what she was feeling; and when she was ready to hear some more, I had more to tell her.

She cried and said she was disappointed …

“I want the North Pole to be real!”

“I thought the Easter Bunny flew around in a pink car!”

“I thought the Tooth Fairy collected my teeth!”

“I want it to be real!”

… She thanked us for not lying to her, but said now “everything felt different” as she felt all of these magical things in her mind crashing down; and after about 5 minutes of letting her feelings out she said she was ready to hear some more.

“OK, so this is also the truth. A long time ago there lived a man who became known as St. Nicholas. He was real - just as real as you and me. I have a book about him downstairs and although I don’t know everything about him, I know that his parents died when he was younger and left him a TON of money - so much money, in fact, that he didn’t know what to do with it!

Now.

Nicholas lived in a time and place where most people didn’t have a lot of money and so what he decided to do was to secretly give his money away - he wanted to help those who had less than him.

One of the things he did (and this is my favorite story abouth him) is … back then before people went to bed, they would sometimes leave their shoes by the window or hang their socks by the window to dry over night; and so he would sneak around while everyone was sleeping and leave coins in people’s shoes and socks so that they would wake up the next day to find money to pay their bills.

That’s just one story, but the point is that Nicholas was a very generous man … so generous that stories started to spread around about him; and over time more and more stories developed, legends formed, and the story of Santa Claus (or “Jolly Old St. Nick”, as the song calls him) with his North Pole, Sleigh, Reindeer, Elves, etc. came to be.

Those stories and his generous spirit, I believe, stir up the generosity of parents all year long, but a little extra during the Christmas Season to make the dreams of their children come true.

And so even though Santa Claus and the North Pole might not be “real”, the stories about him are “true” in that they inspire us to be kind and generous and compassionate - they speak to something that is buried deep inside of us all.

For example, Mommy and Daddy saved up money for a long time to buy you your Switch 2 for Christmas this year and the Barbie Dream House a few years ago and all the other big presents you were hoping for at Christmas time over the years. We could have spent that money on other things, but we wanted to use it to bring YOU joy.

We would plan and save and wrap the presents and hide them and we had so much fun - we loved using the money we worked hard for to make your hopes and dreams come true; and the Spirit of St. Nick inspired us to do just that.

Does that make sense?”

She nodded her head, “yes”, and then I said, “can I tell you one more thing? For me, I believe in Santa Claus in the same way that I believe in Jesus.”

We talk about Jesus a lot and so her eyes got really big and she said, “yeah, but Jesus is real!” And I said, “yes - I believe he is! But so is Santa Claus, so is St. Nick. Just like Jesus inspired people with his kindness and generosity and stories developed about him, the same is true of Santa - St. Nick inspired people with his kindness and generosity and stories developed about him too. Just because I don’t believe that Jesus really walked on the water, I do believe in Jesus; and his generosity and kindness and love inspire me. And just because St. Nick doesn’t really have a North Pole with elves, I do believe in St. Nick; and his generosity and kidness and love inspire me - especially at Christmas time.”

At this point her brain started to make the connections and I said something I wasn’t really planning to say, but it came to be like a lightning bolt of a thought.

I said …

“Just because you know how the magic of Christmas works, that doesn’t mean that the magic has to end. You see, what’s really cool is that for the last bunch of years, you thought the magic of Christmas existed OUTSIDE of you, in some far away place - in Santa, in the North Pole, in the Elves, etc. The reality, though, is that the magic of Christmas existed INSIDE of me and mommy and grandma and all the people who try to make your Christmases magical. And THAT means that the magic of Christmas also exists inside of YOU.

You see.

For me, that’s the true magic of Christmas - realizing that the magic of the North Pole and all the joy it brings to kids around the world doesn’t exist in some far away place that’s impossible to find, but exists inside of all of us.

And that magic?

Once we find it.

Once we tap into it.

Once we believe it.

… It has the power to change the world and make life better for people not just at Christmastime, but all year long.”

I’m not sure how much of that stuck with her; and I might have even went a little too deep into it. BUT. My hope was that I would say some things about Christmas that have parallels to life so that as the days turn into weeks, into months, into years we can return back to that conversation as I remind her that as she grows the world will tell her that the answers to life’s biggests questions exist outside of herself, in …

People who know better.

Pastors.

Teachers.

Books.

Gurus.

Conferences.

Pocasts.

Etc.

… and although those things might be helpful, the reality is that the answers to life’s biggest questions exists inside of her - in the still, small, magical voice of her God-given intuition; and that voice can always be trusted, it will never (ever) steer her wrong.

And maybe that might encourage you too?

I hope so.

Oh - and we’ll still be doing Santa at Christmastime (the Easter Bunny for Easter, Tooth Fairy for lost teeth, etc.). Why? “Just because we know how the magic works, that doesn’t mean the magic has to end!” I told Jordan that even in high school and college and when me and Mommy were married - grandma and grandpa would put our Christmas presents out at night or when we weren’t around … and it’s always felt magical to walk into the room and see the gifts they poured their hearts into getting for us. The magic doesn’t need to end and this year when Christmas rolls around (in 8 months!) she’ll get to help make some magic too.

Much love,

• Glenn || SUPPORT / ART STUDIO

PS - here are some interesting books about St. Nicholas and the legends of Santa Claus.

The True Saint Nicholas by William J. Bennett

When Santa Was a Shaman by Tony van Renterghem