Lessons From My Crawl Space

and words of wisdom from our contractor

Friends.

What a Summer this has been. What. A. Summer.

Back in May, just before Jordan got out of school, I discovered mouse poop in a drawer in the kitchen. Have you experienced this?

“Is this a bug?”

“A crumb?”

“Dirt?”

“A piece of food?”

“God, NO! It’s mouse poop!”

I (promptly) bought a trap and started to catch and release mouse after mouse after mouse into the woods behind our house and by the time I got to my 10th mouse (yes, 10 mice at approximately 1 mouse per day) I decided to set up cameras in the kitchen to see where they are coming from.

And, let me tell you - the camera caught some interesting footage as I saw mice running around the kitchen, climbing walls, JUMPING(!!) on top of the refridgerator … a literal circus going on in our house during the wee hours of the morning.

BUT.

I kept at it (yes, I’m stubborn).

I continued to catch mice (32 in all).

I used spray foam under our cabinets to clog up EVERY single possible entry point.

I did everything I could to stop the mice from coming in, but had no idea exactly HOW they were getting in because the cameras only turn on when they sense movement and so by the time they sense movement, the mouse has already been in the kitchen.

BUT.

Then.

One night I saw a mouse on the camera LEAVE the kitchen and where did he go? He went down the vent next to our counter that leads INTO our HVAC ductwork that runs under the house in our crawl space.

Now.

I hate our crawl space. HATE IT. I would rather do almost anything than go in there - mow every lawn in the neighborhood during our current heat wave, re-read Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem, walk through hell bare foot, pour rubbing alcohol in my eye, listen to a Mark Driscoll sermon … I’d rather do almost anything because the crawl space is a dirt floor surrounded by 4 brick walls and on top of the walls are the beams of our house.

It’s damp.

There are bugs.

Sometimes people find snakes in crawl spaces.

Lots of spider webs.

Which means lots of spiders.

AND.

You need to get around by crawling around on your stomach with your face pretty much pressed against the ground in some places.

… Yes, it’s an awful experience.

Anyways I put on my big-boy-brave pants and spent about an hour under there where I ended up finding a mouse nest in our insulation …

… but also a number of other problems.

Where do I begin?

Disconnected HVAC ducts.

Water.

Mold.

… everything imaginable.

I came out and showed Dana the pictures and said, “I’m no crawl space/foundation expert and I really have no idea what it should look like under there … BUT … I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to look anything like this.”

Long story short, I interviewed FOUR different crawl space repair companies and they all said pretty much the same thing - we had a crawl space with way too much humidity, which is a breeding ground for mold, wood rot, and energy INefficiency.

We ended up hiring one of the companies and within a week they transformed our crawl space into a place that is so neat, so clean, and so dry that you can literally eat off the ground. I knew they were going to make it better, but they went deep into the depths of our home to address some serious issues and do some serious work that will help ward off some pretty serious future problems (more mice, a bigger mold problem, rotted beams, sagging floors, a shifting foundation, etc).

I tell you ALL of that to tell you something that the contractor said to me after he handed me the estimate (which was way, way, way more than I wanted to pay).

He said, “most people look at that price and say they’d much rather spend that money on something they can SEE like a brand new kitchen or bathroom (or both!) - something they can spend time in and enjoy, something their guests will see and enjoy as well - something ‘Instagram-worthy’. And that’s true, you could do that. BUT. If you spend this money on something more cosmetic without addressing the unseen problems beneath your home - it’s only a matter of time before your cosmetic repair will fail to withstand the problems going on beneath the surface.”

And you know? That made sense to me. That made A LOT of sense to me.

Why?

Because I’ve found this to be true in my life. Maybe you have to?

Sometimes it’s easier to make cosmetic changes to our lives, right? To fix stuff on the surface of our lives. Like, we do something that gives us that quick dopamine hit, puts a smile back on our face, and we go on with our day - going on autopilot for days, for weeks, for months, for years.

We scroll through Instagram for a while and get lost in reels.

We go to the store and buy something new - a shirt, a book, a game, a TV.

We grab a snack.

We pour a drink.

We light a cigarette.

We binge Netflix for a bit.

We put a smile on.

And we keep going.

Going back to the crawl space illustration, we pour energy and effort into making life feel better or look better on the surface - doing whatever it takes to help us make it through the day so that we can go to bed and get up tomorrow to do it …

All.

Over.

Again.

And, you know? That works for a while … doesn’t it? It feels good to buy something new. The bag of chips makes us happy for a bit. The drink takes the edge off. We look forward to continuing the binge of our new favorite Netflix show. And on the surface? Like a new kitchen or bathroom renovation, it feels pretty darn good AND makes for a good Instagram post.

But?

Slowly?

Surely?

Yeah, we could have spent our money on a brand new kitchen. But it would only be a matter of time before the weak/damp beams below the kitchen weakened and the mold in the ducts made it’s way through the floor … ruining the investment we made. In other words, it would only be a matter of time before the problems beneath the surface became problems above the surface.

Do you see what I’m getting at?

The anxiety that’s lurking beneath the surface in the crawl space of our lives eventually makes it’s way above the surface, right?

It breaks through the smile that came from the thing we bought.

It breaks through the distraction of scrolling through Instagram.

It breaks through the relief that came from the sleeve of Oreos.

It’s waiting at the bottom of the glass or at the end of the the cigarette or in the last scoop of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

And that thing we used to numb the pain? The purchases? The scrolling? The Oreos? The drink? The cigarette? They can all easily become an addiction, a thing we go back to again and again and again to (temporarily) numb the pain that’s bubbling beneath the surface of our internal home - the cold, damp, heavy feeling that’s causing all sorts of unseen problems that are slowly making their way into our days.

Anxiety.

Fear.

Dread.

Depression.

… Whatever it might be for you.

And so although the work is harder, the cost is heavier, and it might not bring all the likes and attention and thrills of a new kitchen or bathroom, it’s a much wiser investment of our time and energy to go beneath the surface to discover why the problems are there and give them our complete and most caring attention.

With that, I ask you (and myself) today - what’s going on in the crawl space of our lives? What’s living down there?

What are we trying to ignore as we pour into stuff above the surface …

Where everyone can see?

That helps us keep smiling and moving forward?

… What’s leaking out? What can no longer be contained? What’s threatening to destroy the neat little life we’ve built? What hurt or pain or wound is demanding to be heard? Demanding to be seen? Crying out for help?

And.

What would it look like for us to give that place our attention today? Not to cast it out or demonize it or hate on it, mind you … but to see it, to hear it, to honor it, to care for it, to invest time and energy (even money! via therapy or books or seminars) into understanding it?

Much love, friend.

• Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO