Stone #1: The Stone of Certainty
leaving room for humble curiosity
Friends.
Welcome to week 1 of “Drop the Stones” where over the course of Lent we are focusing on dropping the stones that we are often so quick to hurl at people who think, believe, or vote differently than we do.
Today’s stone is “The Stone of Certainty”.
There’s this story in the Gospels where Peter (one of Jesus’ disciples) insists that he knows who Jesus is, what Jesus needs to do, etc. The story is found in Mark 8 (I’m sharing quotes from The Message version because that’s what I’ve been reading of late) where Jesus had just finished asking his disciples who people said he was.
“Who do people say I am?”, he asked them.
“Some say ‘John the Baptist’. Others say ‘Elijah’. Still others say ‘one of the prophets”, they replied.
Then Jesus said to them, “and you - who do YOU say I am?”
In other words, “that’s cool that people think those things, but what about YOU? My friends? My closest followers? The ones who have been with me the longest? Who do you say that I am?”
Peter spoke up first (that was kinda his jam, always the first one to say something) and said that Jesus was the Messiah, the Christ - the One who would make everything better again. This was, apparently, the correct answer because then Jesus began to explain how he (as the Messiah) would need to suffer, be killed, and rise from the dead 3 days later.
I imagine Peter’s face turning red and his blood starting to boil because the story goes on to say that “Peter grabbed Jesus in protest” (I can’t imagine any scenario where this would be a wise thing to do!) to which Jesus responded, “get behind me Satan - you have no idea how God works.”
Oof.
Peter was pretty certain, wasn’t he? He knew that Jesus was the Messiah and, therefore, (as a staunch Jewish man) knew that the Messiah would …
NOT suffer.
NOT be killed.
NOT need to rise from the dead.
… but would, instead, lead his people into a battle to FINALLY overthrow the enemies of Israel and put Israel back on top.
“Certainty” was Peter’s blindspot as it made him blind to the true purpose of Jesus and, therefore, his purpose as one of Jesus’ closest friends and followers - not a person who would join Jesus in a war to overthrow the enemies of God, but a person who would be called to open his arms in the Name of Jesus to be a vessel of love and compassion and grace to a hurting world.
Friends, certainty has been a blindspot in my life too.
Back in my Evangelical days I let people’s …
Sexuality.
Stance on abortion.
Unbelief in God.
Support for Clinton, Obama, etc.
(Among other things!)
… blind me to their goodness, to the image of God that they have been created in.
When I looked at “them” all I saw was their homosexuality or support for women’s choice or atheism or support for Obama … all I saw were the things about “them” that I was told (by those in authority, those who knew better than me!) that I should disagree with and loathe and demonize.
And then?
When I moved to the Left I let people’s …
Rejection of other’s sexuality.
Stance on abortion.
Support of Christian Nationalism.
Support for Trump, MAGA, etc.
… blind me to their goodness, to the image of God that they have been created in.
When I looked at “them” all I saw was their “homophobia” or rejection of women’s rights or their Christian Nationalism rhetoric or the red hat that they wore … all I saw were the things about “them” that (let’s face it) I was told (by the Progressive gatekeepers, those who knew better than me!) that I should disagree with and loathe and demonize.
Yes.
On both sides, I would muster up the same energy to rail against things on social media or in blog posts … using my words as stones intended to hurt, shame, judge, wound, and put my values and my way of thinking (and the values and ways of thinking that aligned with “my side”) back on top.
And if someone suggested that I remember the words of Jesus (to “love” my enemies or to “pray” for those who persecute me or to “turn the other cheek”) I would (much like Peter) grab them in protest, insisting …
That I knew better.
That I was called by God to turn over tables.
That I was called by God to break down walls.
That I was called by God to FIGHT.
That I was called to join an army that would overthrow the enemies of God and put the values and ideas of our side back on top.
Sigh.
I imagine Jesus turning to me (the me on both sides - Conservative and Progressive) and saying, “get behind me, Satan. You have no idea how God works.”
And so today I am dropping my stones of certainty and am working to embrace a humble curiosity of “the other” - choosing to ask questions instead of lob stones, choosing to assume the best of someone instead of think the worst.
And this?
It’s not easy.
I haven’t mastered it.
I haven’t arrived.
I haven’t figured it out.
I’m not better than anyone else.
… I’m just trying, trying to hold my values and ideas and beliefs with a different kind of energy than I ever have before.
For example.
Perhaps the neighbor I assume is homophobic has never met a gay person; and so perhaps their stance on homosexuality isn’t grounded so much in knowledge, but in fear.
And that - I can relate to that.
Because.
Perhaps they (like I did) have the stance they have not because it’s the stance they have chosen after much prayer or research or soul searching, but the stance they have been told to take as a member of “their side”.
Perhaps (as was true for me for many years) they’ve had no exposure to other ways to think about the topic outside of “Leviticus says this” and “Paul says that”.
And perhaps rather than try to convince them that they are wrong, perhaps it’s my job today to love them as I would love myself - to compliment their Spring garden or ask them how their gradkids are doing.
And (if the opportunity arises today or sometime down the road) maybe I can ask them some questions about how they came to the conclusions they came to regarding gay people.
And maybe I can ask those questions without being defensive, without the hidden motive of “putting them in their place” after they share their thoughts - maybe I can ask them simply because I’m curious and want to hear what they have to say.
And perhaps as we talk I will learn something about them.
And perhaps after I listen to them, they’ll return my question with a question of their own, allowing me to tell them about my own journey with the topic of homosexuality and how some of my best friends and the kindest people I’ve ever met are gay, trans, etc.
And perhaps even though I will still disagree with their stance on homosexuality (and they will disagree with mine), perhaps I will begin to see them as more than their beliefs and they’ll see me as more than mine.
And maybe.
Just maybe.
This is the first, very small step towards building a better world - to having a small understanding of how God works. Maybe by taking this approach with my neighbor and then my other neighbor and then the guy at the hardware store who wears a Trump hat or the pastor who I see at Starbucks who I know preaches Christian Nationalism from the pulpit … maybe by taking this approach and then others taking this approach and others and others and others … maybe this is how we slowly begin to tilt human consciousness away from division and hatred towards unity and love where we can move forward arm in arm even if we don’t see eye to eye.
Maybe?
Maybe.
No need to join me, of course; but I’m working on it today - I’m working to drop my stones of certainty and exchange them for a mindset of humble curiosity.
Will you join me?
Much love,
Glenn || SUPPORT / ART STUDIO
PS - here are some books that have helped me with my own “stones of certainty”.
The Third Perspective by Africa Brooke
The Next Conversation by Jefferson Fisher
A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson