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There may be spelling / grammar mistakes in my articles that make it through my editing, and that’s on purpose. I’m a recovering perfectionist (who was once VERY hard on himself) and one of the ways I’m learning to be compassionate on myself is by allowing mistakes to just … be.
Friends.
We live in a world that tells you to do everything in your power to limit and/or completely avoid suffering.
I mean.
Have you scrolled through Instagram lately? NO ONE seems to be “suffering” there - am I right?
EVERY parent seems to have the perfect child.
EVERY wife seems to have the perfect spouse.
EVERY guy seems to have the perfect job.
EVERY artist seems to have the greatest painting.
EVERY author has just written the greatest book.
If you’re not careful, a 15 minute scroll through your feed will leave you feeling like nobody in the world is suffering or going through a hard time; and so if you are.
Well.
Then.
There MUST be something wrong with you.
And that leads to feelings like, “If I only would have …
Applied myself more at school.
Poured into my marriage more.
Didn’t marry so quickly.
Been more present with my kids.
Pursued my passions.
Ate more healthy.
… THEN I would be happy like them and I wouldn’t be ‘suffering’ like I am.”
The self-help industry (as helpful as some of it CAN be) very often markets itself by presenting us with tools and ideas that will make us more happy, more outgoing, more joyful, etc.
And SURE.
Those can be good things - sometimes we genuinely need tools that can help us in those ways. That is one of my favorite areas of the bookstore - I have LOADS of self-help books on my shelf.
BUT.
Sometimes?
Sometimes I think we can go to that aisle of the bookstore and be captivated by ideas and tools that (we think) might be able to us more like “them” - more like all of those happy people that we see on Instagram who are living their perfect lives, smiling all the time, waking up excited to go to their jobs, coming home to family movie nights where the kids never cry, the marriage is easy, the house repairs are easy, and the money seems endless.
Do you know what I mean?
But what if suffering is a … good thing? I’m not trying to make light of “suffering”, of course. Not at all. Some of you, I know, are suffering (or have suffered) in ways that I can’t even imagine …
Physically suffering.
Mentally suffering.
Emotionally suffering.
… and so I don’t mean to make light of anyone’s experience in any way, shape, or form.
In fact.
In some instances (maybe even MOST instances) the best thing you can do for yourself and your well-being is to do everything in your power to put an end to your suffering.
You might really NEED to leave that job ASAP.
You might really NEED to file for that divorce.
You might really NEED to end that friendship.
You might really NEED to start that diet.
You might really NEED to pick up some self-help books and start making a plan to get your joy back.
However, I can’t help but wonder if sometimes we run too quickly to eliminate our suffering when (in reality) the very suffering we want to rid our lives of could be the fertilizer that will help us grow.
I used the word “fertilizer” on purpose because last year I put some on my lawn for the first time. My dad used to always do it and so I figured - “why not? Let’s give it a go.”
I went to the store, bought some “organic fertilizer”, “DUMPED” it into my spreader and.
Not too be gross.
BUT.
It smelt like some giant animal “DUMPED” in the bag - HA! And that makes sense because fertilizer is made up of a lot of different things, one of which is “livestock manure”.
Which brings me back to my point.
In order to make my grass healthier, thicker, greener, longer, more mature, etc. it helps to sprinkle some dirty, smelly poop on it … similar to how in life somtimes it’s the dirty, smelly, poopy times of life that fertilize us and help us grow as human beings.
(**In fact - I would say that the seasons of life that I grew the MOST in were actually some of the most difficult and painful seasons … ones that I’d never want to go back to and would never wish upon anyone, like the one I shared about last week on my YouTube Channel HERE).
BUT.
If we spend too much time in the self-help aisle?
If we become too addicted to our glowing Instagram feed?
If we become too focused on life being better or different than it is?
Well.
Then I think we run the risk of eliminating our sufferings so much so that we may miss out on the very fertilizer that …
Although smelly.
Although stinky.
Although painful.
Although heavy.
Etc.
… will help us grow, mature, and develop a little bit more into the people we were created to be.
And so I wonder - what sufferings in your own life might you try embracing today?
Much love.
Glenn || SUPPORT / ART STUDIO