Tarot Cards and Matthew's Gospel

wheel of fortune, spilt cups, and the good news of christmas

Friends.

I pulled 2 tarot cards today that really spoke to me. I have a “spiritual practice” of (every morning) …

Pulling 1-2 tarot cards.

Reading 2-3 chapters from the New Testament.

Meditating on the cards / passage for 5-10 minutes.

Writing in my journal.

… and these 2 cards mixed with the story I read from Matthew’s Gospel - ahh. Amazing how things align sometimes.

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[A quick note: if you’re new to these parts, yes I read tarot cards. I don’t do readings for other people, I use them more for myself. Why? Well, contrary to popular belief, tarot cards don’t “predict the future” - they don’t tell you what’s going to happen, that someone will die, etc. Nor do they have “demonic”, evil, origins.

Instead.

Tarot cards invite you to bring your questions to them (much like some might bring their questions to the Bible) - bring your questions, your hopes, your dreams. Put words on what you’re hoping for, the things you’re afraid of, etc. The cards, then, give you pictures or images that tell a story, giving you things to ponder regarding the kind of person you might think about wanting to be as you pursue those hopes, dreams, questions, etc. or grapple with those fears.

For instance.

Maybe you want that job.

Maybe you want to get married.

Maybe you want to have a child.

Maybe you want to end a relationship.

… the cards aren’t going to tell you when or if those things will happen. Instead, the cards will issue suggestions as to the kind of person you ought to practice being as you hope for those things to become your reality. Much like the stories we might find in the Bible, the stories on the cards will give us much to ponder as we journey through our days.

Now.

Just like anything, the cards can be used in different ways. Much like the Bible, they can be weaponized in ways that will create fear, tear down, etc.

But.

For me (based upon what I’ve learned from the tarot readers I’ve had on the podcast), I use them to encourage myself and challenge myself to be a more thoughtful, compassionate, loving human being who is trying to navigate these (very often) heavy and tricky times we live in.]

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Anyways.

So today I pulled 2 cards: “The Wheel of Fortune” and “The 5 of Cups” and I read the first 3 chapters of Matthew’s Gospel (where we find one of the two birth narratives that are in the New Testament).

“The Wheel of Fortune” is an interesting card.

There are lots of things to see on the card, but rather than go through every detail I’ll just share what jumped out at me.

Right away I saw 4 clouds - 1 in each corner. And on each cloud I noticed a different winged being that seems to be reading a book. And in the middle of the card I saw a wheel that (I imagine) is spinning.

As I sat with the card and meditated on it, I wondered, “what does this mean?”, and was struck that just as there are 4 clouds there are also 4 seasons, each season engulfing us with different elements - hot, cold, cool, warm, snow, rain, wind, sun; and just as there are 4 seasons there are also 4 Gospels, each Gospel telling the Jesus story in a particular way to a particular group of people who were navigating their own particular seasons and circumstances.

And those 4 winged creatures sitting on the 4 clouds with their books? I imagine they are studying. Why? Because the particular season they’re in has much to teach them, they have much to learn.

And I feel that, right?

I mean, don’t you?

I’m in a season now where I’m learning so much. I no longer identify as a “Conservative Evangelical” and I no longer identify as a “Progressive Ex-vangelical”. I grew up on “the Right” but exited to take my place on “the Left” 8-ish years ago; but nowadays I feel tired of carrying the energy that both sides seem to emit - anger, judgment, arrogance, hatred, etc.; “I’m right, you’re wrong”, “they are the problem, we are the solution”, etc.

Instead.

These days?

I just … am.

Yeah, I just “am” - I’m me, a me who is desperately trying to find a new way to exist in these divisive days, days that are peppered with loss and grief and sadness and joy and happiness and smiles - each day, each moment having a lesson of it’s own to teach me.

And so, “what’s the lesson?” and “what’s this season have for me to learn?” and “how long will this season last?” and “what resources do I need to be studying so I can keep growing and evolving and becoming?” These are just some of the kinds of questions my mind was running with as I meditated on this card.

And then there was “The 5 of Cups”.

What an interesting card this is, right? On the card there is a man with his back to us. He’s staring down at 3 cups that seem to have fallen over, completely oblivious to the 2 cups that are still standing behind him.

The cups that have fallen over?

Maybe his dreams have spilt out of them.

Or maybe happy moments in his life that he hoped would last forever.

Maybe his health.

Maybe the life of a loved one.

Perhaps a job.

… whatever they case may be, those cups seem to symbolize loss.

And the cups that are still standing? Those are, maybe, times that have yet to be, memories that have yet to be made, joys that have yet to be experienced. “All is not lost!”, these cups seem to shout as the man appears to only notice the 3 cups that have spilt over, the ones that have spilt his joys and memories into the earth.

Then, in front of him is a river and off in the distance is a bridge that seems to be leading across the river to (what appears to be) a town or city of neighborhood or something.

Hm.

And so as I sat with this card and meditated on it, I wondered, “what does this mean?” and “what has spilt out of my toppled over cups? What happy times are gone? What dreams have crashed?” and “what good times have yet to be?“ and “what happiness and joy from the standing cups am I in danger of missing out on because I’m so focused on what I lost in the toppled over cups?”

And then.

As I sat with these questions.

Boy oh boy - I was struck by how many times I focus on fallen, toppled over cups instead of cups that are still standing. In other words, I tend to focus on the END of things so much so that I struggle to see the good in the things that STILL REMAIN.

For instance.

Every November (right around this time) I find myself filled with all sorts of joy and excitement about the holidays - the Turkey for Thanksgiving, the joy of Christmas, the smile that will be on Jordan’s face. The Thanksgiving Day parade, starting to watch Christmas movies, Jordan talking about her Christmas list, the Christmas lights, Christmas music.

Ahhh. It feels like all of my life’s cups are overflowing.

But.

Then?

On December 26?

Oof. I find myself filled with a deep sense of sadness as I stare down at the cups that are now empty, toppled over on the ground so that the memories we made are spilt onto the earth where they will seep down and never be experienced again.

Sounds dramatic, right? I know. But this happens to me every year.

Every.

Single.

Year.

(Since I was a kid!)

On December 26 Christmas has come and gone - Thanksgiving is already a month passed. Talk of when we’ll be taking down the Christmas decorations has begun. A New Year is on the horizon. My birthday comes a month later. Jordan’s 8, next Christmas she’ll be 9. I’ll be 44 going on 45. Jordan will never have her 8th Christmas again let alone her 7th or 6th or 5th. How much longer will she want dolls on her Christmas list? How much longer will she want princess things and toys? Did I make the most of this year? What if I didn’t do enough, wasn’t present enough?

Phew.

The cups are all fallen over, each one dripping a cherished memory that was made - my mind reels and reels and reels. I feel anxious and sad and (frankly) all over the place.

And then?

I typically get very down for a good number of days. You’d never know it on the outside, but on the inside? I’ll be very vulnerable with you - something in me feels like it’s dying. I cry a lot. I sleep a lot. I fall into a deep and somewhat depressive state that is intensified as the January days get colder, drearier, etc.

And like the guy on the card? Yeah. I am so consumed by the cups that have spilt over that I am almost oblivious to the cups that still remain standing and full, filled to the brim with memories eagerly waiting to made.

Sure, Christmas is gone, but …

My birthday is in January - a time Jordan and Dana and my mom love to make so special.

Jordan’s birthday is in March - she wants a Harry Potter party this year.

Spring is coming.

Summer is coming.

9 years old will bring all sorts of new adventures.

Jordan will have new likes.

New dislikes.

New hopes.

New dreams.

The sadness, though? It feels like it will last forever and so “The Wheel of Fortune” card reminds me that this is just a moment in time, just a season - the wheel will continue to turn, my emotions will go up and down, and (through it all) I have much, much to learn.

Yes.

And “The 5 of Cups” reminds me that instead of locking my eyes on the spilled cups, perhaps I can expand my vision a bit to take notice not only of the cups behind me that are still standing, but of the bridge in the distance that can carry me to a new season.

Oh.

And the stuff that spilt out of the cups? Those memories? Those happy times? Those moments I wish I could hold onto forever? The liquid drips out of the cups and seeps into the earth to (perhaps?) water the soil so that new life and new times and new memories can bust forth.

And then Matthew’s Gospel?

Today I read about the birth of Jesus. The times were dark, Herod was in an uproar. He heard about the birth of a new King and Matthew tells us that “all of Jerusalem” was a little bit disturbed. Why? Because Herod was in love with power and he wasn’t about to surrender it to anyone, much less a baby …

And so.

As the story goes.

… he sent his soldiers out to kill all the baby boys who were 2 years old and under in hopes that one of them would be this new “King” he had heard about.

But.

Nothing keeps the Light away, right? Isn’t that the Good News of Christmas? Jesus had been born, he had survived the massacre, and he would grow up to bring healing and new life to so many.

And so this story of Jesus that I’ve read 32,543 times over the course of my life (these days) reminds me of “The Wheel of Fortune” card, that seasons of Light are often birthed out of seasons of Darkness; and of “The 5 of Cups” card, that although there might be great loss - times of healing and new life await on the other side.

Does that encourage you at all?

Much love, friends.

• Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO