Friends.
Can I be honest? Like REALLY honest?
OK.
Here it goes: I have become more and more weary of the microphone.
And what I mean by that is NOT that I don't like doing the podcast (I truly do, more than anything else I have ever done); but after some reflection and pondering and pursuing my own healing, I've come to realize that all of my adult life has been focused on being trained to be the “UP FRONT GUY”.
Right?
Like, in college and in seminary and all of post-graduate focus - it's all been about becoming a better speaker, better leader, better communicator, better interviewer - a better UP FRONT GUY who can explain ideas and lead people and be the person that people look to for one reason or another.
The preacher.
The pastor.
The leader.
The podcaster.
But.
Honestly? When I was a kid, I never wanted to be an up front guy.
I dreamt of being a veterinarian who would help a patient and then go to his office to bury his head in a book to research for the next patient. We used to take our pets to a veterinarian 5 minutes from our house and his office was filled with the coolest books and he always made us feel better about our sick pets. I wanted to do that, I wanted a place like that for all of my research books.
I dreamt of being an artist who spent time behind an easel or in a project with paints and markers and paper - always going to sleep with paint or ink or remnants of that day’s art on my hands.
I dreamt of being a baseball player, alone on the pitcher’s mound - tossing a ball that would be hit to other people to catch and throw so that after 3 outs I could go sit in the corner of the dugout and prepare to pitch the next inning.
I dreamt of being a writer who would sit with a cup of coffee and a stack of books, writing and writing and writing.
But ...
Having a microphone?
Speaking every week?
Being the answer guy?
The idea guy?
The leader?
It was never part of the dream. As far back as I can remember, I never wanted to be the up front guy.
Hm.
So what happend?
Well.
Being the up front guy was something I quickly learned (in college and seminary) that I could do very well, something that got me the praise of people in my life whose praise I was hungry for.
Like.
I remember in seminary after preaching my very first sermon in homiletics class - I had to preach in the school “chapel” and pretend our class was a church congregation; I preached for 20 minutes and when I was done my hands were sweaty, I felt like I was gonna throw up … but my professor came over to me and said, “I’m putting your name into the mix for the preaching scholarship this year. You have a gift that very few have and I would love to see you grow into it even more. I think you’ll get it”.
Wow, right?
And so I kept going - kept honing my “up front skills” so that I could become a better, stronger up front guy, (which, in turn, got me more and more praise - a never-ending cylce of getting praise and getting stronger and getting praise and getting stronger).
I focused on it in seminary.
I focused on it when I was a pastor.
I focused on it when we did a church plant.
I focused on it when I worked at Apple and had to occasionally lead morning meetings and train new hires.
I focused on it as a podcaster.
… it’s been on my mind for the last 25+ years in some way, shape, or form.
Lately, though, as I think back on my life and reflect on my childhood dreams and hopes, I'm realizing that the more quiet and introverted mediums of art and writing ... those are ways I love to communicate, as well. I love to speak and share, of course. I love the podcast. I love bouncing ideas around with our guests. I loved preaching when I was a pastor. I actually miss that sometimes.
But.
Doing it every week? 52 times a year? It's become exhausting …
For 3 years I preached every Sunday, led 2 Bible studies every week.
For 11 years at Apple I was part of various meetings and trainings every week, sometimes training 2 or 3 new hires at a time.
For 6 years with the podcast I released a new episode every Monday (and sometimes I released 2, 3, 4, even 5 in a week!).
It’s been great.
It’s been fun.
I’ve learned a lot and have grown a lot.
And then last year right around this time (October-ish 2024), I started to feel tired. And so in January 2025 we moved interviews from weekly to bi-weekly.
But.
Truthfully?
That still felt like it was draining to me - I still felt like I was giving out way more than I was putting in to mySelf. And when I reflect on THAT, I think the reason it's draining is because I'm only really pouring attention into ONE main avenue of communication, right? The podcast (the audio and video) takes the most of my time; and then whatever scraps I have, I toss those to writing, art, etc. I feel like the recording of the podcast is getting 95% of my energy with writing and art getting maybe 5% IF I have time left over after I do my work for Alexander Shaia, Bart Ehrman, and others.
So.
I think.
I'm gonna mix things up a bit in January. Why not, right? Here's my plan: for 2026 we will have only 12 podcast interviews (as opposed to 52ish) - 1 a month instead of 4 a month.
How will it work?
Well.
There are 4 weeks, typically, in month, right? And so …
(1) The first week of every month will be a conversation with a new guest. We'll explore a topic, their book, whatever - just like usual. I will be extremely picky about the topics, the guests, etc. because there are only 12 slots to fill.
(2) Then the next 2 weeks (weeks 2 and 3 of the month) will be essays or blog posts that I MAY (SOMETIMES) record into audio as well. 1 week will be a post where I reflect on the topic I talked to the guest about in that month's episode and then the 2nd week will be a post about something else - something I'm thinking about or reading or whatever.
(**NOTE: sometimes there will be a blog post in week’s 2 AND 3, sometimes just 2 OR 3 … depending on what thoughts are or aren’t brewing in my head!)
(3) And then the 4th week will be an art reveal where I'll share whatever piece(s) of art I've been working on that month, which will get shared on Substack and Patreon and maybe Social Media once in a while too.
And this?
Honestly?
It feels SO MUCH MORE exciting to me, much more life-giving, a better overall “use” of all of my gifts and passions. I have really missed writing. And I have really enjoyed the time I've spent with my art. And so the idea of having space carved out specifically and intentionally for those 2 things along with podcast interviews - all under the umbrella of the What If Project where we explore the question, "what if there are ways of thinking about life and faith and God and spirituality and mental health and all the things that are different than what our traditions have handed us?" ... ahh, it's so exciting to me. I'm really looking forward to this shift.
And, yeah - that’s super different from any other podcast out there, right? Who does this?!
“Won’t you lose listeners?!”
“Won’t you lose Patreon support?!”
“Shouldn’t you be gearing up instead of scaling back?”
From a “business” or “financial” perspective - yeah, this is probably really, really dumb.
But?
From a mental health perspective where (at 43 years old, soon to be 44!) I’m realizing that I want to live life to the fullest and be an example to Jordan of someone who uses their gifts and passions to make his small part of the world a more loving, joyful place?
Yes.
Yes.
… this feels like a good direction, one that my small, still, inner voice is nudging me towards.
Let me know your thougths.
Much love.
Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO / EBAY
Good for you. I love that you’re paying attention and actually acting on what’s best for you mentally and emotionally. Just said a little prayer of gratitude for the content that you do put out, that you’ll find relief from the pressure, and that your financial needs will still be met.