Yes, Tolerance Is My Goal

the third perspective

Friends.

I’m reading a book that’s making me uncomfortable. It’s called “The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in the Age of Intolerance” by Africa Brooke.

“When we talk about The Third Perspective”, Africa says …

We’re talking about seeing more than two sides of a story. It’s about realizing that most things aren’t black and white, but a mix of both. There’s a lot that lies in between, full of details and subtleties that can deepen our understanding. Today, we often get caught in an ‘either-or’ mindset. This can make it hard to see the big picture.

Sigh.

The book is making me uncomfortable because Africa’s making some really good points that are making me realize that for a long, long time I have been living a black and white life in regards to many aspects of my life - my opinions regarding faith and politics, in particular.

I’ve said it many times here over the last month, but it’s worth repeating in this context - back when I was an Evangelical, I was right and everyone else was wrong. In order to be a “real Christian” (I believed), you had to …

Vote Republican.

Be Pro-Life.

Be against ‘Gay Marriage’.

Believe that Jesus ‘died for your sins’.

Believe the Bible to be ‘inerrant’.

Etc.

But then life happened, you know? I met people and had experiences that began to poke holes in my beliefs and rattle my opinions and pretty soon I began to see things differently. I took one step out of the Evangelical world and put that foot in the Progressive world and before I knew it, I had both feet planted in the Progressive world just as firmly as they were once planted in the Evangelical world. The problem, though? Even though my beliefs and opinions changed, I was still pretty sure I was right and everyone else was wrong, so much so that I believed that in order to be a “real Christian”, you had to …

Be Anti-MAGA.

Pro Social Justice.

Supportive of ‘Gay Marriage’.

Live like Jesus - flip over tables, fight the Empire.

Etc.

Yes. Life happened and even though my beliefs changed and my opinions changed and by ideas evolved - they were all wrapped up in the very same energy. I was just as angry, just as judgemental, just as arrogant. As Africa says (while on both sides), I was caught in an ‘either-or’ mindset that saw things as very black and white, rarely (if ever) a mix of different opinions.

And so these days I’m trying to move forward differently. In an age of intolerance, I’m trying to be tolerant.

Tolerant?

Being tolerant doesn’t mean we just nod in agreement with everyone’s ideas and stay quiet so we don’t rock the boat. No. Instead, (Africa says) it seeks to “make room for different voices to enter the conversation, without doing away with our boundaries. It’s about championing justice and truth, all the while nurturing connection and mutual respect.”

Yes.

This, I think, is The Third Perspective - a way of holding our (for me) Progressive-Minded beliefs without mowing over the opposition, without assuming that my way of seeing the world is the only valid way of seeing the world, daring to believe that if I listen to the perspective of another I might learn something even if what I learn only aids in making me more solidified in my own beliefs and opinions.

The Third Perspective, I think, is more curious than rigid.

It’s hands are open to receive the thoughts of another, rather than closed in a fist that’s ready to fight.

It sees the humanity of “the other”.

It realizes that all of our beliefs stem from a desire to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and those we see as vulnerable.

It realizes that our beliefs are (largely) a bi-product of our experiences.

It realizes that everyone has different experiences.

It seeks to create tables rather than build walls.

It seeks to ask questions rather than just make statements.

… And it does all of this while maintaining strong, personal boundaries where we stand firmly on our beliefs - refusing the be degraded by the views of another AND refusing to hold our own beliefs in such a way that they degrade the beliefs of another.

Is this easy?

No.

It’s much easier to mow over people, isn’t it?

It’s much easier to mock someone who supports the candidate we think is a joke.

It’s much easier to shut down conversations.

It’s much easier to load facts and figures into our machine guns and shoot down the arguments of people who hold beliefs that are different from our own.

It’s much easier to think in black and white.

I’m tired of this way, though. I truly am. I was tired of it on “the Right” and now I’ve grown even more tired of it on “the Left”. Black and white thinking doesn’t change much of anything. Demonizing, shaming, shouting … it doesn’t generate much lasting change. If it did, we wouldn’t be having the same conversations in 2025 about Race, Inclusion, Diversity, Ethnic Cleansing, etc. that we had in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, etc.

Sigh.

Insanity, they say, is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result … then being shocked when the different result doesn’t come.

And so (I think) …

It’s time to stop doing the same thing.

It’s time to stop being shocked when things don’t change.

It’s time to stop being shocked that our world looks the way it looks.

It’s time for a Third Perspective.

And.

It’s OK if you’re not there. Yes, please hear me on that: it’s OK if you see things more black and white, and if tolerance isn’t on your radar in these times. I recognize that my maleness, my whiteness, and my straightness makes it easier for me to be open to a more tolerant Third Perspective. I realize that my black, gay, female, migrant friends would rather burn a book like this than give it the time of day.

I get it.

You need to do you - you need to live, believe, and move through the world in a way that is true to who you are, is best for you. And I honor that, 100%.

Me?

Because it’s “easier” for me to be open to these ideas - I have a duty to myself, to my family, to future generations, and to those in my world to stand in no man’s land, to get fired at from both sides, and to seek to build a table where people have a space to come together when (and only when) they are ready to ask questions, engage in conversation, and move forward arm in arm even when they don’t see eye to eye with the person across the table.

Much to think about, thanks for sticking with me.

Much love,

• Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO