What If We're Wrong About 'Them'?

searching for another way to be

Friends.

I’ve been allowing myself to wonder about this - what if we’re wrong about what “they” think and “they” believe? And what if it benefits those in power to keep us thinking wrongly about such things?

“They” - the other side.

“They” - the ones who think differently than we do.

“They” - the ones who vote differently than we do.

… What if we’re wrong about what “they” think and what “they” believe because the narrative we’re so often presented with doesn’t fully reflect reality?

For instance.

(Follow me, if you will.)

I’m reading a book called “Outraged” by Kurt Gray (a professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill) and he says that a recent study showed that Democrats estimate that 44 percent of Republicans earn more than $250,000/year when in reality only 2 percent do; and Republicans estimate that 38 percent of Democrats identify as LGBTQ when only 6 percent do.

If you listen to the news, though?

Phew.

Fox will have you believing that the “other side” is full of gay Black atheists while MSNBC will have you believing that the “other side” is full of rich old White Evangelical rednecks … neither of which (statistically speaking) is anywhere close to reality.

This false narrative benefits those in power, though, doesn’t it?

Because if the leaders of “our side” can keep us beliving the worst of “the other side” and/or paint the other side in a negative manner and/or make “the other side” seem stupid, uneducated, delusional, destructive, etc.

Well.

Then that ensures them of our vote and our allegiance to the belief that they can save us, they can keep us safe, they can give us the promise of the best life now and the best life for our children and their children and their children.

In another study, Democrats estimated that only 50 percent of Republicans believe that racism still exists in America when a poll actually revealed that 75 percent do - in other words, 75% of Republicans are aware of (and bothered by!) the presence of racism in America. On the flip side, Republicans estimated that 50% of Democrats think that “most police are bad people” when in reality a poll showed that 80% of Democrats disagree with that statement - in other words, 80% of Democrats believe that most police are decent people doing their very best to keep us safe.

Again - this narrative that “the other side is evil or stupid or delusional or out to ruin our children” helps those in power maintain our allegiance and our vote … even if the narrative they’re sharing is built around faulty information and (let’s face it) lies.

And so here’s what I’m ruminating on:

If the majority of people on “the other side” aren’t as bad or evil or stupid as we imagine them to be, perhaps there is hope for fruitful dialogue - dialogue that can push our world forward where even if we disagree with one another, we can see …

The humanity in each other.

The fears that we all have about the present and the future.

And the desire we all have to make the world a better place.

In fact, studies show that 67 percent of Americans (or 221 million people) are part of what’s called the “exhausted majority” - people who do not want to fight about or even think about politics.

Did you catch that?

67 percent.

Of Americans.

DO NOT want to fight about or even think about politics.

(Hold that thought for a moment.)

And so that means that 33 percent of Americans (who we might call the more “vocal minority”) are the most engaged, the loudest, AND the ones dominating the conversation so that most of what we hear about politics, “the other side”, etc. is coming from that (minority) group.

Now.

Those other 67 percent? The “exhausted majority”? The ones who don’t want to fight about or even think about politics? Gray says that these people want the government to get things done, they want the government to help people flourish, and they long for everyone to come together amidst our disagreements to drive the world forward.

The problem?

These 67 percent very often remain silent because they are exhausted from fighting, tired of the pushback, and quietly looking for another way to “be” amidst the division, conflict, hate, judgement, etc.

Are you exhausted?

I am.

I am desperately looking for another way to be as we (surely) head into what will be a very rocky, tumutuous 4 years that will ultimately bring us into another election season where there is much of the same judging, shaming, demonizing, etc. of “the other” … even if I’m not 100% sure what that “other way” might look like.

And so my takeaway from this book (so far) is to remember that what “the elite” people say, what the loudest voices are saying, what the newscasters are presenting, what the elected officials are insisting about “the other side” … it’s not always (maybe even rarely) true.

AND.

Those of us who are longing for “another way to be” … we aren’t alone.

Much love.

• Glenn || PATREON / ART STUDIO