I think this all is incredibly interesting and important.
So much of what you’re saying, has ressonance with mimetic theory, in that our behavior is imitative. We see what the other is doing and our influenced to do as they do.
among other things, it’s important to have healthy mimetic models.
I enjoyed reading your words. But not talking about politics with my sister, who is a Trump supporter, is OK when finding out how she and her husband and cat are doing. But one of my children is a federal employee. My other child is a disabled veteran afraid of losing benefits. The list goes on and on. How do we reach across this abyss?
Thank you for sharing, Susan, and thank you for reading.
Honestly, there is no easy answer and there is no script for every situation. For me, I’m learning to enter each conversation with humility where I ask more questions than make statements; and am learning to see the person before I see the belief they have, realizing that the belief the person has is the result of an experience or series of experiences the person has had in their life. Seeing their story helps me see them as human whereas seeing only their belief Im arguing against makes me see them as less than human.
And so the question I ask a lot is, “wow I see that very differently. Can you help me understand why you think that way and support this candidate or this order, etc. I’d love to understand why you’re so passionate about _____.” And then I try to listen to understand as opposed to listen to build my own argument. That typically makes the person less defensive and makes me see them as a human with a story as opposed to what the media wants me to think - “an evil uneducated moron who is out to harm and cause chaos” or whatever.
In addition to that, reading a lot of books on unity and oneness and bridge building - it’s helpful for me to intentionally consume more than and much different material than what the media wants me to consume. People like Felicia Murrell, John Powell, Greg Boyle, Valarie Kaur, Africa Brooke … lots of people from diverse backgrounds doing incredible work in this area. They are out there, you just gotta look because the algorithms of social media and the media itself that thrive on creating division aren’t gonna hand them to you on a platter.
But that’s just what I’m learning and what has been helpful for me - like I said, there’s no script and what’s been helpful for me might not be helpful for you.
Agreed, and I think that we always have to remember: In a society where media has to make money, in a species that is drawn to conflict, the media will promote conflict. About anything. It just draws more viewers . . .
It means so much to me that you took so much time and effort to respond to me. I have not read the authors you mentioned but will look them up and read their work. I agree with you that we need to be healing relationships. My reading on this has been the civil rights leaders and Walter Wink et al on nonviolent resistance. I also have been doing centering prayer, which helps me experience God.
I know we will get through this. I am so grateful for your support.
Ahh those are great practices and great people to read. I haven't read much of Walter Wink, but he is on my list of writings to interact with soon. Thanks for the reminder!! I am grateful for your support too, it is such a relief to interact with someone like yourself where we can wonder together about building a better tomorrow even if we aren't 100% sure how to do it.
These are the 2 books that currently have me captivated and most challenged, both by people who are from backgrounds that are much different than mine ...
I think this all is incredibly interesting and important.
So much of what you’re saying, has ressonance with mimetic theory, in that our behavior is imitative. We see what the other is doing and our influenced to do as they do.
among other things, it’s important to have healthy mimetic models.
Like . . . . Jesus?
I think that’s a pretty good start!
I enjoyed reading your words. But not talking about politics with my sister, who is a Trump supporter, is OK when finding out how she and her husband and cat are doing. But one of my children is a federal employee. My other child is a disabled veteran afraid of losing benefits. The list goes on and on. How do we reach across this abyss?
Thank you for sharing, Susan, and thank you for reading.
Honestly, there is no easy answer and there is no script for every situation. For me, I’m learning to enter each conversation with humility where I ask more questions than make statements; and am learning to see the person before I see the belief they have, realizing that the belief the person has is the result of an experience or series of experiences the person has had in their life. Seeing their story helps me see them as human whereas seeing only their belief Im arguing against makes me see them as less than human.
And so the question I ask a lot is, “wow I see that very differently. Can you help me understand why you think that way and support this candidate or this order, etc. I’d love to understand why you’re so passionate about _____.” And then I try to listen to understand as opposed to listen to build my own argument. That typically makes the person less defensive and makes me see them as a human with a story as opposed to what the media wants me to think - “an evil uneducated moron who is out to harm and cause chaos” or whatever.
In addition to that, reading a lot of books on unity and oneness and bridge building - it’s helpful for me to intentionally consume more than and much different material than what the media wants me to consume. People like Felicia Murrell, John Powell, Greg Boyle, Valarie Kaur, Africa Brooke … lots of people from diverse backgrounds doing incredible work in this area. They are out there, you just gotta look because the algorithms of social media and the media itself that thrive on creating division aren’t gonna hand them to you on a platter.
But that’s just what I’m learning and what has been helpful for me - like I said, there’s no script and what’s been helpful for me might not be helpful for you.
Much love, my friend ❤️🙏🏻
Agreed, and I think that we always have to remember: In a society where media has to make money, in a species that is drawn to conflict, the media will promote conflict. About anything. It just draws more viewers . . .
It means so much to me that you took so much time and effort to respond to me. I have not read the authors you mentioned but will look them up and read their work. I agree with you that we need to be healing relationships. My reading on this has been the civil rights leaders and Walter Wink et al on nonviolent resistance. I also have been doing centering prayer, which helps me experience God.
I know we will get through this. I am so grateful for your support.
Ahh those are great practices and great people to read. I haven't read much of Walter Wink, but he is on my list of writings to interact with soon. Thanks for the reminder!! I am grateful for your support too, it is such a relief to interact with someone like yourself where we can wonder together about building a better tomorrow even if we aren't 100% sure how to do it.
These are the 2 books that currently have me captivated and most challenged, both by people who are from backgrounds that are much different than mine ...
"And" by Felicia Murrell: https://www.amazon.com/Restorative-Power-Love-Either-World/dp/B0C8C9VC1R/ref=sr_1_1?crid=26BLL0Q7WBJ1A&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.x-LmedTbUEXT8_jMJtTbJGCeXUYsEU2DmiUxdFvlj8-04JwAUkOqgajKreBMxKbTC4XUMnj_eBJWGhGehaN3KRXogtLsH3c7S1jQ87kx8BaYG45_dNCESrPSrPv5kLqePJbthamNsiJXNIU-xntCEHbQjrk7Yi4NB2UuAHr9Ip2vP2l2ZKDmi9G5mZR0pJ59RVmB0mutSBfPwGJ27orFdNpkBFmnYfU-9nOjbz8Jw-s.TNtgO5JxkdWY1m3mld6bxuD7PdnQM5or_evS_d3ROUQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=felicia+murrell&qid=1740833592&sprefix=felicia+mur%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-1
"The Power of Bridging" by John Powell - https://www.amazon.com/Power-Bridging-Build-World-Belong/dp/1649631650/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21SNTR7BFL55R&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.DK9eTEwP2BDO-mn6Ms3tGGtjOBegDUiTqHmsSKSFPYTwjy6WyD0X6LHtcXbPNiO6Zz628oNippxOd3_lvB70D2-xQ-iBpV4_ZtvotuQUpM6wt6eCzc_bvlRmLYMamdZElYF2KUFrVxxs56c8IVSOzmeKrwubvSWD9VRlULcHm41vwchs_lRrN6S5sxf5EgOPpYPiUe4Lpy-MlF2izLAFgnwi3D7Vn-YGGjjAvD_IU_M.97E7ydMkgimHX3RQC4jT9mVN2LuSsEsFTWiHya2jn7w&dib_tag=se&keywords=john+powell&qid=1740833736&sprefix=john+powe%2Caps%2C81&sr=8-1
This one was super helpful too ...
"Outraged" by Kurt Gray (he's a professor of psychology and nueroscience at UNC Chapel Hill - https://www.amazon.com/Outraged-Morality-Politics-Common-Ground/dp/0593317432/ref=sr_1_1?crid=AGYTGCPA2NGH&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.LIrsy3-0hdE9sKsPlc8XiegoxtAc7p9bA3wy2z-hHxMea99-wPc18eckGuMflBzoHYmPJB4YfDzH-OsA-eVORto_sw0-0SYwIf1tjGArEwlPeQfeivUlp8TRsS5uotrTi6b66cXNCOyY5yvBjYKtRo2oM3Dpmybnxd_BqtX2IYrJLoro5mWWPSqi1TmxFAiBpYohjBVsJB2xilMYbiPra_QwJnXWp89-sKnr6hWTT8Q._8m3EoO7qwadoGQx3ZbFSNfQ7BX6FkUBOmVxxgPIS-w&dib_tag=se&keywords=kurt+gray&qid=1740833872&sprefix=kurt+gray%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1